Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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