someone get that fucking seahorse.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
