your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize