i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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