just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
