Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
