Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
