Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I've blown a few things in my day
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
