you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
A bitchslap is in order.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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