Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
