why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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