You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
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I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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