You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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