office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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