Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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