I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize