She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
