I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
