i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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