I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
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Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
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Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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