Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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