I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
