Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
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Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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