The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
