somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
