If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
