I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
