im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
