Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
