just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
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ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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