Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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