I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
