How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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