what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
