I wish i was in the wii world.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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