It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
