I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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