did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
