you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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