Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
