then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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