found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
