and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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