ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
