so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
