If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
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she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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