Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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