i was born a porn star she said
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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