I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
