she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
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There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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