when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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