never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
