I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
