There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
the raccoons are back...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
