my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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