How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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