I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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