so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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