Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
