Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
